Real and Ugly Truth

and if you think i'm going to go
running to look for you, mother fucker

you are dead wrong
i don't need one more thing to be pissed about

see, i can be plenty pissed in my old regular boring life
thank you very much

i have plenty of hatred and anger to go around
without your sorry ass around to stir it up

and you thought i needed you
like hell i do

here's the real and ugly truth:
MY LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT YOU.
I AM BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU.
i believe this 100%.

don't have to worry about you NOT contacting me.
don't have to worry about you JUDGING me.
don't have to worry about me ANNOYING you.
don't have to worry about you IGNORING me.
don't have to worry about you MISUNDERSTANDING me.
don't have to worry about you going on and on and on and on about your SORRY LIFE.
don't have to worry about what you THINK ABOUT ME.
don't have to worry about all your BULLSHIT.
don't have to worry about you CHOKING me, throwing me to the ground, leaving me for dead.
don't have to worry about ENTERTAINING you.
don't have to worry about your DIGS and SLIGHTS and INSULTS.
don't have to worry about your MANIPULATION and CONTROL.
don't have to worry about PLEASING you.
don't have to worry.

am i talking myself into that?
perhaps.
but so be it.
right now. at this moment.  in my heart.  in my body.  in my brain.
i believe it to be so.
if i am deceiving myself
i will will it to be so
and it will be so
so be it.
09/27/10