Most of the wordy posts on this blog are from the email journal I kept during my years with the narc. I am now narc-free. The dates of the journal entries don't matter much, because the only things I wrote about were: 1. How crazy I felt and/or 2. How I was going to make this work. I left him so many times, I lost track. This time is for good, though. I know too much. I am keeping this blog for my own healing and processing, but I welcome you here with open arms. If you have been abused by a narcissist, I hope you are on your way out and find solidarity here.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Let it go (easier said than done, even WITH the song)

i need to let go of the 
romantic fantasy part
the love love part

just need to let it go

he his a mean, manipulative, nasty man
he is not going to be kind
he is not going to be thoughtful
he is not going to care about you
he is not going to want 
to hear your thoughts
he is not going to check in with you

no.
he is going to humiliate you
he is going to put you down
he is going to abuse you 
he is going to belittle you
he is going to disregard you
he is going to hate you
he is going to insult you
he is going to make fun of you
he is going to do 
whatever the hell 
makes him feel like a 
big and powerful person

because he is small and pathetic

so, i need to get over 
any romantic delusion 
any lovey dovey nostalgic thoughts
stirred up by songs and memories

because that's not reality
and that's not the truth

it's time to muster up 
your strength and 
courage and face the truth
he is a bad man to you
being in a relationship 
with him is 
unhealthy and 
life-draining

get over it
09/26/10

"Shut de door, keep out de devil."
-Randy Stonehill


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