Most of the wordy posts on this blog are from the email journal I kept during my years with the narc. I am now narc-free. The dates of the journal entries don't matter much, because the only things I wrote about were: 1. How crazy I felt and/or 2. How I was going to make this work. I left him so many times, I lost track. This time is for good, though. I know too much. I am keeping this blog for my own healing and processing, but I welcome you here with open arms. If you have been abused by a narcissist, I hope you are on your way out and find solidarity here.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Morning

i have a different feel
this moment

up in the morning
the middle of the night

doing dishes
doing research
reading emails
writing emails

just don't feel
panicked
or worried
or anxious
or wondering

i just am
and i am doing
and i'm here

it's a pleasant little feel
for the moment

just am
so i am going to ride it
feel it
be it
and some day
think about it
in contrast to
some other middle of the night
crazed moments

that's all
later
i'll think about it

but for now
i'm gonna soak it up
cause it's good
09/30/10

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