Most of the wordy posts on this blog are from the email journal I kept during my years with the narc. I am now narc-free. The dates of the journal entries don't matter much, because the only things I wrote about were: 1. How crazy I felt and/or 2. How I was going to make this work. I left him so many times, I lost track. This time is for good, though. I know too much. I am keeping this blog for my own healing and processing, but I welcome you here with open arms. If you have been abused by a narcissist, I hope you are on your way out and find solidarity here.

Friday, June 27, 2014

What do I want?

this is what i will keep asking myself for the time being:

what do i want? 
as i flounder and question and think and wonder
i will continue to ask myself, what do i want?
at this moment, what do i want?
long term, what do i want?

right now i want no contact.
i want to know that you can't get to me.
that's what i want for now.

i will take tomorrow when she comes.

for now i need safety
and protection
and isolation

for now i want to know
that you cannot get to me
for now
9/30/10
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